Guest Writer Janet Holmes Uchendu: I Go Back to May 2020

Featuring Guest Writer Janet Holmes Uchendu inspired by the poem I Go Back to May 1937 by Sharon Olds.

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I Go Back to May 2020

by Janet Holmes Uchendu

I go back to May 25 2020

There are four male police officers

There is a crowd of everyday citizens

The event escalates

A man falls to the ground

Eight minutes and forty-six seconds later

That man is dead

I learn of this through headlines

Headlines

Blaring headlines

The News reports his name is George Floyd

I immediately feel the need

To put some respect on his name

This man whom I do not know is

Mr. George Floyd

What did he do

That warranted he should be murdered

That murder captured on video

And broadcast to the world

The story will unfold

There will be information

What he did

Who he was

There will be character assassination

Justification for his murder

Justification for why the one police officer

Should not be charged

With the murder of

Mr. George Floyd

Justification for why the other three

Should not be charged

As accomplices

To the murder of

Mr. George Floyd

Justification for why


Mr. George Floyd

Deserved to die

On June 18 2020

The Los Angeles Times published a story online

By the Associated Press

And the headline screamed

Prosecutors Say Officer Had Knee On George Floyd’s Neck For 7:46 Rather Than 8:46

Apparently this makes some kind of difference

It actually took one minute less than what was initially reported

For that police officer to murder

Mr. George Floyd

Does that one minute less make

Mr. George Floyd

one minute less dead

Does that one minute mean

We can feel

One minute less outrage

Sadness

Sorrow

Powerlessness

Hopelessness

I go back to May 25 2020

There was a crowd of everyday citizens

They watched

Bore witness to a murder

Why didn’t they stop it

They tried

Smartphone footage shows some were vocal

Look at him

Get off of him now

What is wrong with y’all

What the (bleep)

He got mace

He got mace

Bro he’s not (bleep) moving

Did they (bleep) kill him bro

Show me his pulse

Check his pulse

Check it right (bleep) now

Check

The man ain’t moved yet bro

Get off of his neck

Get off him

Are you serious

There were four officers with guns

Four officers with authority

Given to them by our society

By virtue of their positions

By virtue of their profession

I was not there

What would I have done

There is video which shows

That at least sixteen times

In less than five minutes

Mr. George Floyd

Says I can’t breathe

I cannot breathe

He calls out Mama

Mama

If I had been present

Would that have been the moment

My heart tore through my chest

And I risked my life

To charge at the officers

To try to dislodge that officer’s knee

From the neck

Of every Black mother’s son

Of every mother’s son

Would others have joined me

Possibly overpowering the officers

Some losing their lives

Or would I alone

Have become

Part of this tragedy

I can’t imagine the officers would have tried

To subdue me

I can only imagine they would have simply

Shot me dead

The justification

Fear of the imminent danger

Posed by this crazed, grey-haired Black woman

I read the headlines

I read the stories

I listened to the News

I absorbed it all

I am home alone as I watch the telecast

Of the funeral of

Mr. George Floyd

At the request of the Reverend Al Sharpton

I stand for eight minutes and forty-six seconds

I stand

Shaking

Tears streaming down

I stand

Feeling

Rage

Sadness

Sorrow

Powerlessness

Hopelessness

I stand because

Mr. George Floyd

Did not deserve to be murdered

By those who are sworn

To protect and serve

I tremble at the indisputable reality

That protect and serve

Applies to some

Not all

Not to those

Who look like

Mr. George Floyd

Who look like me

I stand

Because I need to put some respect on his name

I stand for

Mr. George Floyd

Addendum # 1:

Monday March 29 2021

I watch the opening statements

In the trial of the officer

Who murdered

Mr. George Floyd

It is clearly stated that he

Had his knee on the neck of

Mr. George Floyd

For nine minutes and twenty-nine seconds

It is also stated that twenty-seven times

Mr. George Floyd

Said he could not breathe

I thought about changing

The title of this poem

To 929 but whether it was

Eight minutes forty-six seconds

Seven minutes forty-six seconds or

Nine minutes twenty-nine seconds

Mr. George Floyd

Is still dead

In spite of his pleading

Begging

I can’t breathe

Somebody help me

I’m sorry

Please I can’t breathe

Addendum # 2:

Monday February 28 2022

I go back

This murder won’t leave me

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